How Many Hours Left

Again, he’s threatened to kill me;

With his hands around my neck,

I disappear —


In a foreign land,


Inside the house, but lost

In a million of blurry thoughts

Where chance meets peace,

And fate meets his anger


I wonder

If I still have time to choose

The way I’ll die


How many hours left

Do I have? 

How many tears

Am I allowed to cry

During the last day?




I haven’t been able to think, write or do anything productive for a few days now. I can’t even read anymore. This can’t be the way I’m gonna “go”.


13 thoughts on “How Many Hours Left

  1. “How many tears .. Am I allowed to cry .. During the last day?”

    Answer: None. You’ve cried enough already. Now you get to smile and enjoy the rest of your days – all 70 or 80 years worth of them that are left.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks, Tsuki. I already have, I haven’t said a word since Nov or so. We’ve been living in different countries so I’m relatively safe, but emotionally and mentally exhausted after so much hate being thrown at me. Thank you for the Spotify link.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I feel your pain about the hate, i’ve gotten alot of that too.. to which i had no control and never consciously did anything to cause that hate. If you need someone to talk to, i would be happy to chat.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your sweet response. I’ve been in a dark place, living with death threats getting throw at me constantly for months because one of my exes blames me for everything in his life. I’m not sure if I have any blame, and even though​ I believe I don’t, in the end all I want is not to die by his hands. Hence the badly written, but true poem. Thank you for dropping by and wishing me the best — hopefully you’re right, Austin.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Lira,
    I am so troubled by your words. This person sounds like he is dangerous. Do you think he would try to come after you? And is there anything I can do to help? Stay safe. Kathy


  3. I could not wait for you to answer me. Threatening to kill someone is illegal. It is completely unacceptable that you are living in fear. There are things you can do if you are willing. If I have interpreted your posts properly in the past, you appear to be somebody who does not want to hurt others. However, there are times when we have to put that aside to protect ourselves from people who may harm us. As I indicated to you earlier, I am quite concerned about what you are experiencing. I am also angry that somebody would do this. Ultimately, each of us is responsible for how our lives unfold. Whoever this person is, he has no right to blame you for his misery. I believe you have my e-mail address, so if you want to contact me, please don’t hesitate.

    Liked by 1 person

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