The strange fulfilment found

In loving her is gone — today,

It’s just me

Searching for a valid reason to

Not let go of everything

After months without a glance of her blue eyes


Visions of the past;

The way I could never accept

The truth in my denial — someday,

I’d forget why


The only woman I’ve ever loved

Means less than a promise I made

Knowing someday I’d have to break it


Maybe my love was really

Despair and self preservation.

Every day

Feels so empty to me




15 thoughts on “Monologue

      1. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I have a special liking for commas in wrong places.
        Blue is my favorite color, but i’m not sure if my favorite eye color is blue. Bad memories.


      2. I said “bad memories” when I actually mean bittersweet. Not everything was bad.
        You should post it anyway. Maybe not now, but maybe in a few months you won’t care that much about your blog’s “feeling” and will just post it. Sometimes I wish I still cared enough about mine to stop to think “do I REALLY want to post this?”


      3. haha I’m glad you don’t hesitate. of course you want to post it. that’s how you let go of it. the comma poem is not anything i need to let go. it was just a contrivance that didn’t work.


      4. Are you completely sure that punctuation isn’t an issue that’s destroying your sense of self, preventing you from getting proper sleep and numbing most of your emotions? Some people *really* care about that, you know? I’m nitpicky.


      5. I have a thing for semicolons. I can’t get enough of them. Ah, the girl I liked is what the Internet would call a grammar nazi. Why are those people so fascinating?


      6. i wonder if there’s a correlation to other detail-oriented compulsions. mine was a compulsive hand washer. i miss all the things that i should be glad to be rid of.


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