Outside

Birds sing in the gray mornings

Of my existence. Rainy summers

That never make sense

Cry outside

.

ML

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At The Window

I have not always had this certainty, this pessimism which reassures the best among us. There was a time when my friends laughed at me. I was not the master of my words. A certain indifference, I have not always known well what I wanted to say, but most often it was because I had nothing to 
say. The necessity of speaking and the desire not to be heard. My life hanging only by a thread. 

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Blue

Once I said “you killed our Cupid” —

I was wrong. Gods cannot die

.

It was just a bad dream; just a bad dream, I said

.
.
.

But I still wake up to the absence of your blue eyes

.

ML

Saudade

I miss your the velvet of your voice.

I miss the waves of your hair —

Deep dark brown rings where I used

To hide in my days of self-pity and self

Discovery

.

I miss the sound of your guitar, your lyrics that no one else can

Write.

I miss

The euphoria of those late nights

When we shared the same martyrdom

.

ML

Far Away

Two loud children throw rocks at the birds.

Cars come and go,

But I stay here looking at the world

.

I hear laughter, I hear the sound

Of a tiny life falling — from the sky to the ground.

The innocent can be brutal sometimes

.

.

.

Frozen eyes can’t travel. I can’t destroy

This distance, but my heart

Dreams of you in a rainy country

.

ML

Confetti

You can’t throw this away, she said,

Staring at me in the middle of my room

When we were cleaning the mess of more than

Three years of depression

.

You can’t throw this away, she said,

But that poem doesn’t mean anything to me…

Just understand that

I don’t really remember much about

The days when I was seventeen

And I’m sure that I wouldn’t like to

Go back in time to relive those lines

Written almost seven years ago

.

Let me turn that piece of paper into a rain of memories and confetti

.

I am a child rolling my eyes…

Your long,

Lean fingers

Won’t give up on my long lost words

.

ML

Bed

I needed a reason to feel embarassed enough

To never come back

.

.

.

And then I was in bed with the girl I will never love,

But thinking of the one I will never have.

 

I needed a reason to push myself away.

Away and far,

Forever —

My words were daggers to your soul, Lily

.

ML

 

Reason

I took a different way. Went to a different place,

Lost myself in thoughts of another world

While traveling on the bus to the place where

My sister’s teacher jumped to his death

Two years ago

.

I had a quiet plan in my head, but when I got there

I suddenly remembered that no one would feed the imaginary cat,

And had to go back home

In a hurry

.

ML