Even If I Don’t Last Forever

My mother’s French perfume brings back

A rush of memories;

Memories I didn’t know that

Were mine,

While I rest my head on her pale

And soft

Motherly shoulder.


This antiquated fragrance of the past

Keeps my eyes free from tears

Because in her heart calming presence

My courage pretends to exist


If you only knew, mother…

— I…

Don’t want to worry you anymore.

I don’t want to hear you

Asking god to save me;

Praying for my young, vanishing life.

No more wars, no more

Money spent on

Greedy doctors. No, mother.

No more tears

From your hazel eyes.


Your god, so unreal,

Your god knows I’m just

One of the damned


Just let me be here for a


— even if I don’t last forever

With my head on your shoulder

While you watch TV

And laugh


And I sink deeper and deeper

Into the abyss

Of my mind




2 thoughts on “Even If I Don’t Last Forever

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